Politically UnQualified

Once upon a time, an elected official reached out

asking if I thought they were unqualified for their position

And if so, what could they do to be better.

This was my response.

I’m sharing because, I need to take my own advice.

I’m sharing because I’m tired of seeing of election slander. I’m tired of political jokes that aren’t funny, clever or witty. That serve nothing more than ugly pacifiers for a bunch of grown babies.

I’m tired of hearing about and then shutting down rumors about people across all political spaces and identities.

I’m tired of political party identity addiction and lack of integrity.

I’m tired of lazy citizens who don’t bother doing their research.

I wish every person running for public office would keep the names of their opponents out of their own mouths and actually do something that helps instead of hurts.

I’m bored with the trash talk. Like, we get it:

Republicans are horrible. Democrats are horrible.

Liberals are trash. Conservatives are trash.

I simply do not care anymore.

What are you ACTUALLY gonna do?

Stay focused on policies that pertain to the position you’re running for? Sure hope so.

Ask questions of your candidates that pertain to the actual office that they’re running for and stop wasting time attempting to manipulate an agenda?

Sure hope so.

Gonna stay in your lane and make sure your own house is in order?

Sure hope so.

How are you gonna hold yourself accountable?

What’s your plan for walking your own walk, instead of just running your mouth? 

Small town politics are grotesquely funny because we have to stare each others hypocrisies in the face every time we’re in the self-checkout line at Safeway or loitering in the Mr. D’s parking lot, regardless of our RINO/DINO status.

Small town secrets are never safe.

On the larger scale? I’m embarrassed and sad…riddled with grief at every turn. But, mostly just disappointed in whatever delusion any one of us is choosing to live in without bothering to try to evolve.

Globally or locally, I’m bored with the game that we’re all not even that good at playing.

Anyway.

Here’s what I wrote back to the brave asker

of that vulnerable question:

(some original details removed and some original text altered to protect anonymity and improve clarity )

Hey mate! 

Good to hear from you. 

Qualified? 

You’re an American citizen, registered voter, above the age of 18, that lives in ********** and you won an election. 

Those are your qualifiers. 

Apart from that, I’m honestly impressed that you asked. I think that asking to be shown our weaknesses, and how we can grow be better is one of the most powerful aspects of true leadership that isn’t as normalized as it should be, in order to create a more healthful and helpful world for everyone who lives in it.

Now, to answer your question. I’m gonna give you the opportunity to stop reading right now. Because, this is going to be honest feedback, and if you have now evolved to a place where you actually don’t want it, here’s your chance. 

Take it all with a grain of salt and also know that it’s very easy to sit with outsider optics and critique a position/experience that I am not actively partaking in. 

Also, remember to take into account that obviously I’m not at/in every session/meeting nor do I exist in every interaction that you have or have had with constituents, other elected officials, staff and the press/public. 

All of this say… there is a lot of learning on this job. On any job. Because it’s just that…this is a job. That you were hired to do by your constituents. But, here’s the deal.

Anyone who claims to know what they’re doing 100% of the time is a liar and I don’t trust them. With THAT that said, there’s a lot of learning in the job that you were elected to do and no one is brought on board knowing everything. That’s impossible and insane to think. No matter how long you’ve been there. No matter how experienced you are. It’s YOUR choice and RESPONSIBILITY to show up and make the decision learn in/from any given moment. The moment you stop learning is the 

moment you fail. 

From where I stand, I believe you to excel at bringing forward the concerns of constituents you hear from. Though I do question the level of comfort and trust of that many may have on topics that they project you may not want to hear them on or treat them with equal concern/care.

That will always be a tough one to maneuver simply because of the optics of how we as human beings show up and present ourselves to the world… tough but not impossible.

Now, I’m just going to hit some bullet points of advice that is also good advice for me to take,  so thanks for this opportunity for me to write all of this down for myself as well, and please pardon my dyslexia, if nothing makes sense. 

When I’m writing all of this to you, I am also writing it to myself:

-Ask for help. (good job on this already in reaching out) 

-Formulate your OWN opinions. Don’t be lip service for someone else’s brain. That’s insulting to your own intelligence. 

-Do. Your. Homework. Do your homework before you show up to any type of session/meeting of any kind. Don’t waste time during said session/meeting having whoever is present during whatever the thing is, babysit you through explaining work that you should have done before you got there. That’s a waste of taxpayer money, time, resources. Don’t be insulting by being uninformed. 

-Get out of your comfort zone. 

-Keep asking “why?”

Not to be a jerk, but to truly get to the bottom of understanding and then at least attempt to show up with a solution oriented mindset.

-Build honest community relationships outside of the world you exist in. Which can also require a lot of emotional compartmentalization. But, seeking the humanity in those outside of your world is IMPERATIVE to doing your job well.

-Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.(Bonus points if you can name that movie.)

-Develop a stronger capacity of emotional regulation. 

-Speaking loudly and with perceived confidence doesn’t mean that you know what you’re talking about. 

-Listen to learn instead of listening to respond.  

-Breathe

-Practice the skillset of critical thinking. (An ongoing practice)  

-A huge one I would suggest is taking intentional time to get to know the people you are working with and the background of what each person ACTUALLY does, not just what you THINK they do. I will say this that this is some thing I absolutely find fascinating and enjoy doing. 

This can look like taking a tour of a water plant for example and learning the absolute intricacies of what it means to work there( I know you probably already know or at least did that in grade school or maybe have on the job but I did it again recently and actually had a great time just for the sake of learning.) It can look like that, or it could look like taking whomever out to coffee or a beer or something and TRULY learning the depths of what their jobs entails, not just what we assume. Again, assumption is your enemy. 

With full transparency, I’m STILL learning about who people are and why they do what they do. There is soooo much more to EVERYTHING than we perceive. May we never stop learning about each other; in work and life.

-Get to TRULY know the other elected officials you are working in proximity of. REALLY get to know them and why they are there. I know for a fact that it would shock the HECK out of most who are working with you, if you asked (and followed through) with setting up intentional time to get to know them and ask the same question you’ve just asked me. Because I believe completely that every single person is there because they want to see our community(community as country, state, county, town, and individual) be successful, sustainable, healthy and cared for. So, in order to do that it requires putting away a lot of projected BS and getting to know how to be solution oriented together.  I will say this: meet up with ***** for coffee and a chat. ***** is absolutely brilliant. I respect **** so much in how **** approaches creative problem solving. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. BUT, I have learned so much from how they work. They get me excited to be involved. 

-This all means that we have to cultivate a stronger skill set of asking good questions. Good questions that develop into deeper, more creative ways of problem solving. That is an incredibly hard skill set to develop. And so fantastically important. 

-A lot of that is also building trust. Building trust because you care. Not because you’re out to manipulate the system or play a political game. 

-Assumptions are your enemy. They are your ENEMY. Retrain your brain to steer away from assumptions. 

-Nobody gives a shit if you’re pointing fingers of blame. It’s a waste of time, taxpayer dollars, resources and doesn’t prove anything other than you don’t know what you’re doing. Pointing fingers of blame are just waving red flag if insecurities for performative leaders who don’t really know what they are doing. It’s embarrassing. Don’t do it. Keep your mouth shut or come to the table with a solution. Develop that solution oriented mindset. 

-Good leaders don’t point fingers of blame. Good leaders practice self-accountability and approach frustrations/concerns with curiosity and the drive to work together to problem solve. 

-Show up in unexpected community spaces. Your ability to get out of your comfort zone and care(truly care) about the aspects of community that people don’t expect to see you in? That’s huge. Don’t do it to be seen. Don’t do it to be performative. Do it because that’s what TRUE community does. We learn about each other to BE BETTER. Because you will learn something no matter what. 

-Learn how to be productive, learn how to win at something without trash talking the folks you’re up against. Trash talking is boring and a waste of time. 

-Think of the spaces, places,events,businesses and organizations in this community that you know nothing about. Learn about them. REALLY learn. If you have a problem with them, ask yourself “Do I really know all there is to know about -xxxxxx-?” The answer will almost always be no…Then show up with willingness to learn. 

-Learn about communities that are facing similar issues or have faced similar issues in the past. Every time I travel, I try to find the parallels of issues that community around the world are facing, and what they are doing to problem solve. Also, even when I don’t travel. Technology is amazing in that way. You can Zoom into commissioner meetings, school board meetings, city council meetings ect. in communities all over the country. Examples that I look at: Jackson Hole, Bozeman, Aspen, Boulder ect. From a developmental standpoint, we’re about 10 or 15 years away from where these towns are...and it’s heartbreaking… I know, we’ve talked about this.

BUT, what are these communities wishing that they had done 10 or 15 years ago to prevent the issues that have a chokehold on them today? What kind of preventative care do these communities wish they had taken action on in hindsight. Tbh, whenever I ask this question no one has really ever been able to answer because they’re so upset and just want to complain about how things were and now how they’ve gotten so bad. Clearly, that’s frustrating because even though I’ll listen and hold space for that community grief, even for communities that aren’t mine, that’s time that could be spent problem solving with preventative care. The time, energy and resource that are wasted on the grief of nostalgia, means that there is less time, energy and resource to be utilized for the preservation of the present and future.

This is as close to preventative hindsight as we can get. Take a look at how Missoula is approaching their housing crisis. Is it perfect?Absolutely not. But there are good people doing good work on behalf of the health and wellness of an aggressive community issue that is not specific to any one place in this country. 

We can all learn from each other and we’ve really got to start getting better at acting on that. 

-Your lived experience is not the most important experience. Just because you’ve never experienced something that someone else has, doesn’t make their experience less valid or real.  

-Practice radical empathy.

-Learn how to apologize. This is just a human skill that most people are really bad at. If you can learn how to do it, you will already be doing your job better. Whether it’s this position or another. Remember: an apology without changed  behavior is just manipulation.

So.

Here’s how to apologize:

• TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. ...

• CLEARLY STATE WHAT YOU'RE APOLOGIZING FOR. ...

• FOCUS ON IMPACT INSTEAD OF INTENT. ...

• STATE WHAT ACTIONABLE PLAN FOR CHANGED BEHAVIOR YOU INTENDED TO DIFFERENTLY IN THE FUTURE…

• ASK FOR, BUT DO NOT DEMAND FORGIVENESS…

• Also, giving in to avoid a conflict isn’t an apology. It’s a lie.

Creating conflict without any actionable steps towards resolution means you’ve got some work to do with a therapist on your own time.

-I have said repeatedly on the record that I believe that as humans, our main job in this lifetime is to help everyone else’s job be easier. Think of “job” metaphorically. Yea, it can be the thing that you are paid to do. But sometimes our “job” is as simple as going to the coffee shop, placing our order as clearly and kindly as possible and pay the correct amount. The baristas job is to give us our correct change and order as clearly and kindly as possible. One “job” cannot exist without the other. No ones job is more important than the other.

Sometimes your “job” is be vulnerable and ask the question “How can I be better?” My “job” is to take the time and respond intentionally because I care. And I do believe that in the long run, it does make the world a better place… one degree at a time. 

I know you’ve heard me say it countless times: it’s about the body of work.. not the outcome… it’s never about winning or perceived power. 

It’s about getting out of our own way enough to create a foundation of well-being for whoever comes next. If we look at it from that perspective, we did our jobs correctly. Elected or not. Hired or not. If we’re showing up to at least give it our best shot  in that capacity, we are qualified. 

You are qualified. 

And if you continue to show up to lean and grow as person and a leader beyond from where you started on behalf of your community(individual, local, county, state, region, country, continent, world)…there is no greater qualifier than that. 

I’m traveling right now but will be back in town. Again, I will extend the offer, if you ever want to meet up and discuss any of this further, I would be more than happy to make the time and space. 

Also, I’d recommend the book 

“13 Ways to Kill Your Community” by Doug Griffiths and Kelly Clemmer, if you haven’t read it already. I believe that Lander City Council was reading it all together sometime around 2019/2020 and it was recommended to me. Idk if reading is something you enjoy but the audiobook of it isn’t too bad either and I believe it to be a reasonably helpful resource on perspective. And if you can pop your headphones in and listen to it while you’re working… then 10/10 

There’s also PLENTY of other reading material I can scoot your way.

Ok. Last bit after alllllll that. I know it was a lot. I hope it all went though.

Good job reaching out and asking for feedback.

Keep doing that.

With me and with everyone.

It will only make you better, will only make community better, will only make the world better. 

Cheers, 

Oak